Honestly, I was so naive! Like as though I’ve been living in a box for most of my life!
Well, admittedly, I hadn’t really ever been out much, this covid stuff has a lot to answer for, but I honestly thought that this specially constructed flat that I always lived in and which suited me so snugly and fitted me so well, would be my home for ever, that it would be here that I would see out my days, safe, warm, and comfortable.
Oh yes, it had its drawbacks. I’ll admit that. It seemed to be was always quite dark and, if I am absolutely honest, a bit boring, nothing much to see in the surrounding, but lots to hear.
My fellow inhabitants were very vocal, and were now beginning to annoy me. Right next to me in our communal home, was a long streak of boastfulness.
“Just you wait and see,” he’d say, “When the time comes, I’ll outshine all of you! Everyone knows that Golden Rain is the best, the most spectacular and beautiful of us all!”
Well, I had no idea what he was talking about.
Hence the naivity. I should have known better, paid more attention, asked questions, but I didn’t.
“When the time comes!” What time? It was all a mystery to me!
So, I just ignored him as fantasist. Big mistake!
I could hear other voices too, equally as loud, boasting that they were the shiniest, the loudest, the most sparkly… all these claims were a closed book to me. I just decided to keep my head down and keep quiet, just ignore them all and they might all go away.
But, this particular day when it all happened, seemed strange from the start. Everyone was tense somehow, waiting, uneasy, almost expectant, it was as if no one could relax. Anticipation was the name of the game. Something was in the air, strange smells, loud banging and odd whoosing sounds I hadn’t heard before, but as usual, I just buried my head and stayed ignorant.
I was just drifting off to sleep, which was difficult to do, as it seemed as if the room was moving. I started to feel a bit seasick, as though I was being tossed about in my bed. I had to hold on to the sides so I wouldn’t fall out, but then, I was suddenly very roughly grabbed and prised out and held in some sort of vice.
No, “Excuse me!” No warning! No chance even to get dressed or put any make up on. I was simply manhandled out of my comfy bed and I was on the move. The, I was brutally jammed up against a hard wet wooden surface and…. well, I have difficulty finding the correct words to desribe the horror of the next few moments.
Suffice it to say, that I was pinioned to a piece of wet wood and then stabbed right through my centre and nailed there! A hammer was used. I do not want to say more, for fear of upsetting people, but after that, believe me, there was no possibility of escape.
I tried screaming, pleading, but it was no good. No one cared or heard. My futile pleas only seemed to encourage an strange apparition, wearing a beany hat and wellington boots to come closer, in fact, to peer right up into my face!
He was laughing and carrying fire. I knew what fire was because my mother had always warned me about the consequencies and dangers of fire ,in fact , my own father lost his life in a fire and so I knew to keep well away from it and now, here it was, directly in my face, up close and personal.
“Go away,” I screamed, “Leave me alone!” But the bobble hat didn’t answer and so the fire did its work.
Now I am reeling. It hurts! So much pain, my balance has gone, I feel odd, giddy, and, to my astonishment, I began to revolve, a sensation I have never experienced before and one which I do not like at all, far worse than any seasickness. So now, I am starting to spin, slowly at first, but then more quickly, in a kind of frenzy. Faster! Faster! I am on a roller coaster ride with no brakes.
My brain is over loaded. I am spinning completely out of control.
I can’t stop myself. I cannot fight it. It is exhilerating!
I do not want this to stop. Then it is over and I am finished.
I have achieved my destiny!
I am complete!
© Kathleen Proctor November 2020