I was born one morning

At the beginning of time

Picked up a pen

And started to rhyme

Aged five years my autobiography sold

And I grew a beard and moustache

When I was seven years old

Had a great present the day I turned eight

‘Cos they made me Poet Laureate

At nine I was bored so I started rappin’

Soon had all the kids a clappin’

Reached age twelve and I’d done it all

Trouble was, I was four feet small

Now I’m old and I’m bold and I feel the cold

I’m from a long since broken mould

My true story ain’t never been told

‘Cos I was far too young to be so old

No point regretting my youth has gone

Gotta move these old bones and carry on.