The Futtock Rumbler by Ray Stearn, Isolation, The Lighter Side

The Futtock Rumbler

(To the tune of The Wild Rover)

 

I’ve been rumbling me futtocks for many a year

In the Dockyard down Chatham with me best rumbling gear

I’ve windlassed me pinions ‘til me rowlocks came loose

Then I packed up me tools to go home on the bus

 

And it’s row, row, clever

Row, row clever for shore

For a bold futtock rumbler

Awaits by the door

 

I went to a yacht chandlers I used to frequent

For me castellated nuts were battered and bent

I asked them for credit, they answered me “Nay…

Rumbling of futtocks I get twice a day.”

 

And it’s row, row, clever

Row, row clever for shore

For a bold futtock rumbler

Awaits by the door

 

Deep down in me ditty bag were sovereigns bright

The yacht chandlers eyes they lit up with delight

She said ”I have shackles and marlin spikes tight

And I never did mean what I said Monday night.”

 

And it’s row, row, clever

Row, row clever for shore

For a bold futtock rumbler

Awaits by the door

 

To the old Dockyard Matey I’ll confess, though it’s hard

Rumbling me futtocks in Chatham Dockyard

And if he forgives me as oft times before

I’ll rumble me futtocks outside your front door

 

And it’s row, row, clever

Row, row clever for shore

For a bold futtock rumbler

Awaits by your door (x2)

 

© Ray Stearn 28 May 2020

 

 

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